I love this dress.

What up?

I looked cute today. 

Deal with it.

READING RAINBOW

I'm not going to even pretend like I didn't just give money to this.

They are bringing back Reading Rainbow!

This is SO important. 

If there is ONE PERSON who reads this blog and donates $1 because of me...

...mission complete.

Do it.

Do good.

You rock.

Laziness is Key.

I tried to overachieve today and I did all the laundry. I even put it away. Well most of it. Apparently we don't have enough hangers when all the clothes are clean. 
The moral of the story is: there is a reason we don't do all the laundry all the time. 

Potholes, Samoas, and Allergies... oh my!

The road we live on is a damn mess.

And that is putting it politely. 

I wish I would have thought to take a picture of the GIANT potholes directly in front of our driveway.

You cannot get in or out of my house without damn near breaking a wheel off of your car.

Well, today they finally filled them in again.

Of course, this only last a few days. Then it gets bad again.

At least they'll be cool for a little while.

Today I had to go into town to get Dexter some more Benadryl.

He's got some pretty sucky allergies, and he loves to be outside so this summer (the few days we've had of it) has already been a challenge.

While I was in Dollar General I noticed these "Coconut Fudge and Caramel Cookies"

SOMAS YA'LL

(Yeah, I said ya'll. SOMAS)

SOMAS FOR LESS THAN $2!!

Somas are arguably the best Girl Scout cookie, so I decided to take these for a spin.

They looked just like Somas.

AND THEY TASTED JUST LIKE THEM TOO

I am so excited.

I'm going to get in all sorts of trouble with these.

Next it was time to drug my dog.

I've found that a slice of American cheese is the best method. 

I tried bread once but he chewed it, found all the pills and spat them out.

He usually just gobbles the cheese down whole and has no idea about the pills.

The vet recommended 2-3 depending on how bad his allergies were that day.

He has been running at a 3 pill pace lately. He just gets so itchy.

I just take a corner of cheese, lay the pills down in a row.
Make sure to push them in so they stick to the cheese.

Then take another small piece and create a pill packet, or pill sandwich.
It is important that no pink pill shows.
If he tastes the pills he'll pick them out and not eat them.
Make sure to seal it up tight.

Then feed it to your wild beast.

He loves his "medicine".

Girl Day!

My mom, sister, aunt, and cousin all went to the mall yesterday. It was a blast. 

I got a pair of sandals, a dress, and a really nice sweater.

The dress was originally $30, I ended up getting it for $4.95 (it was like a zillion percent off and I had about $4 left on a gift card. BAM! Damn near free dress.)

The sweater was originally $40 marked down to 7.95!!

Both things I had seen on previous trips to the mall, but was unwilling to spend the money on them.

I guess my stubbornness paid off!!

The sandals were on sale too, but not quite as good of a sale as the sweater and dress. I'm so excited about them!

I almost bought a nice winter coat that looked like something straight out of Kate Middleton's closet, but they only had the size bigger and the size smaller than my actual size, and the coat was white.

I loved it, but I don't think it was meant to be!

After the mall we went to lunch at Olive Garden. I of course got chicken Alfredo, because it is what I do.

We ended up skipping appetizers and decided to get dessert instead. 

They have this wonderful seasonal cake, Wild Berry Layer Cake. 

It's to die for.

Website description: "Layers of moist vanilla cake and luscious Italian cream, topped with seasonal berries and white chocolate shavings."

IT. IS. SO. GOOD.

So I talked all the girls into getting that, along with a Chocolate Mousse cake.

When I asked the server for the Wild Berry Layer Cake he informed us that it was a seasonal thing and they didn't have it anymore.

Totally bummed we swapped it out for Tiramisu. Which wasn't a bad deal.

But then, after we were done with our dessert I see him walk out holding a slice of Wild Berry Layer Cake!!

I was instantly like, "What the hell? Did I stutter? Did I ask for the wrong thing?"

I'm staring at him and walks right over to our table and drops it off.

"I'm sorry, I thought we were out but I went in the back and we had a couple slices left, so this one is on me. Enjoy Ladies." 

WHHHAAT??

That's the story of how we got a free slice of cake after already eating our way through two desserts at Olive Garden.

Did I mention that cake is to die for?

SO. GOOD.

After that we headed to our local winery for some wine tasting.

I'm not going to lie to you. I'm a wine hater.

I think it is totally gross. 

However, they have delicious wonderful drinkable wines.

I don't know how they do it, but I'm glad they do.

I ended up going home with four of their smaller bottles.

My favorite is called "Pink Diamonds" I also tried one called "Little Princess" that was also amazing.

A surprising favorite was an apple-ish flavored one. It was very different and very good!

So I had wine for dinner last night.

Go ahead and judge me.

xoxo, Jenae

Memorial Day, Sunflowers, and Family

Yesterday was memorial day. I missed the first parade in our area (9am start time. That's a hard one for me.)

We have lived in our house for 4 years and in that time I have never made it to the parade JUST DOWN THE ROAD. So this was the year.

I woke up on time, the parade didn't start until 11am. I even convinced my husband to come. We were had decided to talk since it really is just down the road from us. 

Half way there at about 10:56am we hear the drums start.

"Oh no, they can't start yet!"

"Well it isn't 11 yet, maybe they just hit some drums?" Mike offers.

"No I see people moving!" I tell him picking up the pace.

"Wow, you walk really fast." Mike says surprised.

"Dude, I've been training." I say getting faster.

We are on a back street chasing after the parade.

"We have to catch the Vets. I need to clap for them." I say.

"You need to slow down, holy crap."

This is where I start jogging. Mike doesn't.

We never catch the Vets, I never get to clap for them. It was a bummer. 

That was when I decided we were going to the cemetery. We never even stopped. We caught the end of the parade and headed straight down the next road to the cemetery. 

On the road on the way there we saw our old band teacher, who tried to convince Mike to strap on a drum and play, my best friend and her husband, (Who yelled, "SNYYYYDDDEEERRRRSSSS LOOKING SO CUTE IN YOUR HOMETOWN" out the window at us as they drove by.), and basically every other person we know. Including one of the boys Mike used to be a Manny for. 

The ceremony was very nice. I'm very glad we went.

I wore some dumb shoes though and got a nice blister on my pinky toe and my feet are kind of killing me.

After the parade we drove into town and got ice cream for the first time this year. Mike got a puppy chow flurry, which we didn't even know existed but now that we do look out world. It's delicious.

We had to do some running around and finally when we got back home that night we decided to plant my Sunflowers.

Every year for 4 years I've bought seeds and said, "I'm totally going to plant some sunflowers." Yet I never do.

Sometimes I lose the seeds, & sometimes I forget about them until after the point where you are supposed to plant them. 

Usually I buy them in March and forget about them until September. 

The Planting window is May/June.

I have 4 different kinds. I only planted three so far. The 10 footers, the 5-6 footers, and the 4 footers. 

I also have "Elf" sunflowers that will only be about 4 inches tall.

So cute.

Anyway, I'll let you know if they actually grow. I usually kill everything so we'll see!!

Somebody Wants Extra Christmas Presents.

I saw my niece for a minute tonight. 

I had been playing with my nephew for quite awhile, crawling around on the ground chasing him and stuff. I was kind of a sweaty mess. The cute side braid I had done earlier in the day was all coming out but it was the end of the night so I rolled with it.

When I was giving her a hug goodbye she looked at me and said, "You look tangled."

I gave her a puzzled look and then she said, "You look LIKE Tangled."

"Oh!" I realized what she was talking about, "You mean the movie? Like Rapunzel?"

"Yes, you look pretty!" She said.

And that is how my icy heart melted and how Jaelyn gets an extra cool Christmas present this year.

xoxo, Jenae

Official Disney Princess Status

You see that?

With this post I cerement my Official Disney Princess Status.

Just hanging with my bird friend.

What's up?

We went to a local petting zoo today where you can pay $1 to go into a room full of birds and feed them.

I've been dying to do it for a couple of summers now, but nobody would go with me.

After two years of complaining my family finally broke down and went.

Of course, they had fun.

My mom is a real bird whisperer, they were like... fighting over her stick.

It was ridiculous.

Back In Time: Color Pictures

Mike and I never had engagement photos taken. 

We were married just two months after I graduated college, so I was kind of busy.

Graduating, Planning a wedding, it didn't leave a whole lot of time for anything else.

But I'm a creative person, I love photographs, I love photography (though, it isn't my strength) and I love my husband.

So the year after we were married I had an idea.

I'd done the Color Run with my in laws and it was a blast.

I had heard you could buy your own color powder so I looked into it.

It was a little more expensive than I would have liked but you got quite a bit so....

Then I just had to convince my husband. 

He was hesitant at first. 

Actual photo evidence of him playing with brightly colored powder wasn't super manly I guess.

In the end he said yes and I was ecstatic!

I knew just the photographer.

Mike's cousin Erin took the pictures for us. 

She was such a pro, took those pictures like a champ. 

It was raining for most of our photo shoot.

She and her expensive camera just hung out under an umbrella and kept shooting.

Did I mention she is awesome?

The photos turned out better than I would have ever dreamed.

I really think the rain helped. The colors were beautiful.

_________________________

At first we took a couple of cute clean pictures.

Erin had the great idea that we could take a few of us getting ready for battle.

My mother-in-law's back yard was the BEST back drop.

I've always loved the little area with the arbor. 

Chest bump. Yeah, we're silly.

She shot some behind the scenes. Here we are loading up for another round of color fighting.

You can see the umbrella. We needed it to keep our Color Powder and Photographer dry!

I ADORE THIS ONE. Look at the color. <3

He twirled me and threw red color on my head at the same time.

It sort of turned me into the Little Mermaid.

 

My mother-in-law Vikki actually took this one. She couldn't resist taking a few of her own.

By the end it was REALLY raining. So we decided to call it quits. We had used all of our color anyway.

What we didn't anticipate is what the rain did.

The color being wet on our skin and hair for so long had actually started to dye us.

Our skin was pretty colorful. It took A LOT of scrubbing.

Mike turned out ok. He didn't stain like I did.

My skin is very fair.

(You might have noticed, since you have eyes.)

The color liked that very much and had a great time staining me a weird purple. I had to scrub a lot.

Also, remember that picture with all the red color in my hair?

Well that actually ended up staining my hair pink for a few weeks.

After our photo session I realized that I was going to have pink hair for awhile.

I work at a bank with a dress code that says, "No unnatural hair colors."

Pink isn't exactly natural, and while I would have LOVED to keep the pink I knew that my employer wouldn't be very excited.

So I made an emergency trip to my sister-in-law at the Salon she worked at, at the time.

She did her best to remove the pink (and there was a little green too.)

It was no use, my hair was a pastel pink for weeks.

I wore it like this to work. It was a lot less noticeable this way.

I even ended up going to a job interview with my pink hair!!

I guess they didn't notice or care because I ended up getting the job, and I'm still there.

Thursday Night: Return of the fail.

Remember that post about how much of a disaster my Wednesday night was?

Tonight wasn't really a whole hell of a lot better.

I got home. We made dinner, got comfortable and ready to watch some TV when my sister texts me, "Hey, are you guys coming to Grandma's or what?"

Sweet mother of God, I forgot we had a family thing. There was going to be pizza and cake at my Grandma's to celebrate my Aunt's 50th birthday.

I forgot.

Not only did I forget my Aunt's birthday party, but I forgot my get out of making dinner card.

Son of a bitch there was free pizza and we had just eaten stupid hot dogs.

WHY??

So I text Alyssa back, "OMG I FORGOT, is everyone still there? Should we come over?"

She thinks this is hilarious, "Yes, we are just about to cut the cake."

So I gather up my husband, put some real pants back on and head out to my grandmas.

Can I be done sucking at life now?

My Dog is An Asshole

Wednesday night was a complete nightmare.

Mike texted me while I was at work to let me know he was golfing with a friend that night so he would be home late. No big deal, nothing out of the ordinary.

I had ordered a blanket, specifically for laying outside and a little metal windmill for my front yard out of a catalog and they had come in that day. I was feeling pretty good. The weather was nice, I was thinking I'd lay out on my blanket in the sun. Maybe bring the dog out, read my book. It was going to be a good night.

The day was long, work seemed to take forever, customers kept telling me how great the weather was. I was dying to get out. Once I got out I went home and started to assemble my windmill. One of the legs wasn't attaching properly, but I wasn't about to let it get me down. I was just going to shove it in the yard anyway.

While assembling my windmill I started to feel a little guilty. I'd been doing pretty good at working out regularly so I thought, "Ok I'll go for a quick run on the treadmill, get my daily 30 minutes in and then go lay outside." The plan was set. I did my time on the treadmill. I managed just a little over a mile and then walked a little. I showered and it was time. I set up my blanket outside, made sure my book and my phone were out there. Then I decided to see if the dog would lay out there with me. We don't let him loose outside because he runs around like a wild man with no regard for the road or anyone around him. So we have this yard stake that we put in the ground and attach his leash to so he can be where we are. 

I had all my stuff set up and was feeling pretty good about life. The blanket was cool, but the dog wasn't really cooperating. He was running around in circles tangling me all up. He loves it outside so this was the greatest thing to happen to him this week. Unfortunately for him he has allergies. After a good 10 minutes he was sneezing and generally looking miserable.

Completely happy, but miserable.

So I took him back inside and got him some Benadryl. Poor kid.

On my way back outside I grabbed a water bottle, my sunglasses and the windmill. I thought now would be a good time to stab it in the yard. As I was heading out the door the dog totally rushed me. He blew past me out the door to freedom and left me eating his bad dog dust. 

This is not the first time he has gotten loose. It happened a few times before. Usually my husband is home and together we can somehow get him to come back home. He is incredibly fast for a couch dog. He has no real cardio but will run until his heart bursts. I threw the windmill, water bottle, and sunglasses down in my entry way, grabbed the leash and ran after him.

It wasn't hard to guess where he was going, he always goes to the neighbors. He is in love with their dog, she does not reciprocate the feelings, though it never discourages him. He was running all around the neighbors house like a bat out of hell. Their dog was inside at the time and barking at him. Dexter couldn't seem to figure out where she was. He was over there a good 10 minutes with me yelling at him, running after him, pleading with him to come back. Finally I decided to walk away and ask him if he wanted to go back to the house.

I was surprised when this tactic worked. He totally followed me through the yard back to the house. He even started toward the door like he was going to go back inside with me.

Of course, it wasn't going to be that easy.

Just when I thought he was going to give up and come back inside he headed down the driveway, hung a right and started galloping towards town.

I'm in flip flops sprinting after him.

I can't say my cardio is very good either. I had just run a little over a mile and that is about all I've got. Now I'm on a dead sprint trying to catch my asshole dog before he gets hit by a car. Luckily he stuck to the ditch on his hot pursuit toward town.

He got distracted by the first house he came to. Apparently an older lady lives there. He started running all around her house, of course I still couldn't catch him. They have a little patch of woods in the back of their house and he ran back in there. Me chasing after him. Running around the woods in my flip flops. (It is a damn miracle but so far no poison ivy. I cannot believe it.)

After almost 10 minutes of chasing him around in their yard the woman who lives there comes outside to let her TEENY TINY black poodle out.

I shit you not this dog is smaller than Dexter's head.

Dexter looks scary but he's a big dumb teddy bear. The second that little thing was on the ground he was on it. Sniffing it, the hairs on the back of his neck were standing up. The little dog was barking, Dexter was scared. I'm apologizing to our neighbor, "I'm so sorry. He isn't aggressive. He has never been aggressive. Your little dog is safe," I kept trying to reassure her. She didn't seem to mind. She was a little bewildered at the scene. An out of breath girl in flip flops chasing a giant black dog all around her yard. I guess that would be a little bewildering.

I'm still trying to make a grab for Dexter but he is too smart and too fast. I kept trying to entice him, "Dexter, look at this little dog. Want to see the puppy? Look how cool it is!" Like that shit was going to work. Like I could bargain or reason with my dog. The neighbor must think I'm a nutcase. Dexter takes off again, makes a few more circles around her house, as he runs past us again in the front yard the lady says, "Does he sit?"

I give a hysterical laugh, "Yes, at home when he isn't being bad." I tell her as he runs into her front yard and takes a giant dump in the middle of it, hardly breaking his stride.

"Oh my god! I am so sorry. If I can ever catch him I will come back and clean that up!" I tell her, I'm mortified. 

"Oh don't worry about it, I just hope he doesn't go in the road," she says, and abruptly, as if he can hear her Dexter runs past us both one final time and bolts for the road. With out another word I sprint after him. He heads down the ditch in the direction of our house. I'm hot on his heels as a burgundy Ford truck rolls up. It's a man about my parents age, he slows down and rolls down the window and says, "Dogs are worse than children!"

I'm in a dead sprint and I yell back, "I KNOW RIGHT?" He is still next to me. So I tell him, "I just live right here. I just need to get him back in my yard!"

"Oh! You live next to Gary and Shirley," he says. Everyone knows my neighbors. They've lived there for years and they are awesome people. When anyone finds out where we live this is the first thing they say.

"Yes, we're just right here next to Gary and Shirley." I choke as Dexter makes a sharp maneuver in front of the mans truck and heads straight across the road in front of another truck coming in the opposite direction.

With out another word I'm sprinting in front of two trucks. If they can't see my black dog they can at least see me. I'm white as a porcelain doll and wearing shorts and a tee shirt. You could see my legs glowing in the sunlight for miles. It works, neither of us die. The dog is back in our yard.

He is looking pretty rough. He has a leg that hurts him every once in awhile. Especially after walking a lot, he is limping on it and panting so hard I wonder if he is going to make it another step. Once we are in our front yard I yell at him, "Dexter, do you want a chip?" We call his rawhide chips just 'Chips'. He knows what I mean and I have piqued his interest. He's tired, he's sore, and he's listening.

"I'll get you a chip," I yell, slowly walking toward the door. "How about an ice cube? You want an ice cube?" I can see he is listening. He's following me, when I reach the door he is next to me. "Let's get that chip," I say and open the door.

Dexter willingly walks inside.

I have won.

The dog is in the house.

His dumb ass did not get a chip.

Once inside it was time to asses the damage. He was limping, he was panting so hard it was a little scary. First things first, he needed to cool down. I got a bunch of cold water and ice for his dish. I got the box fan from upstairs and brought it down and set it up. Then I got a cold cloth and wiped him down. At this point I wanted to cool him down, but he also went through two ditches and a woods. Who knows what he tracked through, dead things, poison ivy, whatever. 

He hated it but after awhile I he seemed a little less likely to die.

I was so mad I couldn't hardly look at him. After getting him all set up I gated him out of the entry way.

Sticky with sweat I grab a couple of plastic grocery bags and head back toward the other neighbors. Dexter took a heaping dump in her front yard while we both watched in horror. I told her I'd come back and clean it up and I intended to do so.

The only problem was, once I was back in her yard I couldn't find it.

It's bad enough I was already creeping all around her house trying to catch my hellion dog, but now I'm creeping around her front yard with a trash bag trying unsuccessfully to find a shit pile.

I'm just trying to do a nice thing, and I can't even seem to get that right.

So then, I'm like, "I should tell her I'm just trying to find his shit."

I walk to the door I saw her first come out of and knock on it. No answer, so I look around and notice one vehicle is gone.

Thank God, maybe they left and they haven't spotted me trespassing a second time, trying to clean up my dog's mysteriously missing shit pile.

I am once again mortified, accept defeat, and head for home.

When I get home I go back into the house, I grab my since discarded sunglasses, water bottle and windmill and went back outside.

First stop, I went to go put the water bottle out by my blanket. I had just reached the blanket and a gust of wind came and spun the windmill.

The windmill spun so hard that the nut holding the windmill to the base flew off onto the ground and the spiny part of the windmill broke off. I was left standing there dumbfounded holding the base of a broken windmill wondering why.

WHY??

The windmill is a brownish bronze color. The nut was gone. It was basically dirt colored. I couldn't find it anywhere in the grass.

  How is this happening? How is this my life?

After accepting defeat once again, I throw the windmill down onto the ground next to the blanket and lay down.

This day blows.

(The windmill has since been assembled. We never found the nut, but happened to have one the right size in a drawer somewhere. )

Only about a minute into wallowing in self pity I hear a car pull into my driveway.

You've got to be kidding me.

I sit up and it is the burgundy Ford truck from earlier. The man gets out and walks up to me, he's holding a piece of paper when he approaches.

He was just over at the neighbors, he tells me. Gary and Shirley told him we have the same electric company and he is running to be on the board of it. He's got an absentee ballot and he wants me to fill it out so I can vote for him in the election. He tells me he knows my mom. Of course he does, everyone does. She grew up in the area and works at the local library. I tell him I'll vote for him, fill out the absentee ballot slip and he is on his way.

I lay back down on my blanket and call my mom.

"Mom, you wont believe the day I've just had."